I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
