I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
