No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
