Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
