You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
