I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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