Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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