Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
