i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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