You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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