I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
