i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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