terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
