you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
