just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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