Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Im part way to drunk.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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