five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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