Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
