you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
