Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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