i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
