and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
