WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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