that's an acceptable place to lick
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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