well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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