i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
