Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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