Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
