can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
