Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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