I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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