Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
