I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
