Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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