i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
