Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We named our party play list daddy issues
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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