i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
