Do vagina's smell?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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