I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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