I wish I could teleport
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
