idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
