Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
