i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
