No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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