The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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