Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
How naked do you want me to be?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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