I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
