I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
