I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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