Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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